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Long-lasting, happy marriages have great communication. Irreconcilable differences are normal. Be open to come to terms with them, instead of trying to resolve the unresolvable. A happy marriage is based on deep friendship, knowing each other well, having mutual respect, knowing when it makes sense to try to work out an issue, and knowing when it is not solvable in that moment.

Be nice to your partner! Make small gestures, and make them often. The little things matter!

Active listening, which involves paraphrasing, validating, affirming your spouse's feedback, may help you get through some conflicts in a less destructive way. Learn how to identify issues that must be resolved, that can be fruitfully discussed. Then learn to live with the rest. All you do is waste your breath and get angry when you want your partner to change. You're better off not trying to change him or her. Learn to work around them. Commit to staying together, even though this is something you may not like.

A long-lasting, happy marriage is about knowing your partner, being supportive, and being nice. Research shows that for every one negative thing you do, there must be five positive things that balance it out. So balance the negatives with many positives. Do nice things often. Especially when it's harder to be nice when the heat is on!

In happy marriages, couples naturally use humor, which helps diffuse the escalating heat. Make light of things!

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